Over the past month or so, I've been given so many opportunities to serve God...an overwhelming amount. However it's been ironic how difficult it's been for me to see God working even though I'm doing so many things for Him. Here's the problem, I've hit a plateau in my faith (a good one I think), but I haven't been relying on the LORD for my energy and focus. I have been focused, but my focus has been on getting things done, not on letting God work. I've hit the plateau, but I'm not comfortable staying here, it's too easy. 


Now there are things that God has been speaking into my life recently, from many people. God's been telling me to fear HIM (Deut 6:13), give Him control, and rely on him for my energy, focus, and guidance (Psalm 26). I think I've finally realized why; I can do a lot of good things without God's help, and I have been; but letting God lead those things, will allow them to transcend the shallowness of doing them on my own, and let God give the fullness of work done by Him. I have been doing them for God, and not letting God do them. 


Romans 8:26-28 says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."


I am weak, I know that full well. And I have the Spirit of the LORD in me, but I truthfully believe that I have been trying the do the work of the Spirit myself. I haven't let myself be led by the Spirit like Paul suggests in Romans 8. God is working for good, but right now I need to transcend the good, and let God take me where He wants me to go. 


I've been spending some serious time considering my doubts, and why I haven't seen God in all this. I need to surrender my control-freakness to God. Allow His Spirit to lead me. Spirit led is God led. I want God to do the leading, not me.